Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Special by Chun Li,
Ok so how about this one time ZOLTAN was wandering around Mount Doom and Frodo was all like, "never mind I'm a little halfling weakling and I'm totally going to keep the ring for myself" and Gollum was all like, "no you don't, bitch" and totally chomped down on his finger and the Sunbelt ref was all "no flag on the play" and then ZOLTAN was totally like "this is lame" and called down his minions and while the minions were tearing and devouring the guts of the Sunbelt ref, Zoltan drew back his mighty leg and kicked Gollum into the fire, thereby saving Middlearth.
ZOLTAN's First Word;
Mrs. Mesko was sitting in her rocking chair in Olde Romania, knitting a suit of chain mail for her six month old son. In his crib, Zoltan was sucking on his blood pacifier and meditating on the mobile above him. The rotating circles and animals and rainbows made him think of the enemies he would one day PUNTINATE, and so with a mighty effort he stood up in his crib, drew a deep breath and roared, "AWESOME!"
His mother threw him his rattle and he raised that in the air, a blue rattle shaped like a scepter with a Z on the crest and he roared his second phrase, which was "GO BLUE!"
Keep the Haiku's coming, and please contribute to the ZOLTAN litergy.
Monday, January 30, 2006
After several late nights, we were able to shrink the submissions into a top five. Before scrolling through the results, please take between 10 and 20 seconds to take in the majesty of ZOLTAN!!! After taking in each picture, you have to shout out ZOLTAN as loud as you can... If you don't, his minions will not be happy.
LISA IS ZOLTANED!!
Submitted by Benito
What a brilliant display of ZOLTAN’s power. I mean, there are many super hero’s in the world, but name a super hero with the power to make the Mona Lisa frown? Now, who would've thought that super hero was merely a punter. ZOLTAN!!!!
ZOLTAN IN CHARGE
Submitted by the Red Dragon and Spilly McDrink
Wow, I never realized until I saw this picture that Zoltan went back in time and replaced Scott Baio with himself. Give him some credit, he looks a lot like Mr. Baio. But, those ciggys and sunglasses are a dead giveaway. Plus, the dragon sweater. Nice touch Zoltie. How many Vampires do you know that can carry a lead role in a series for six years!? ZOLTAN!!!!!
TOTALLY SWEET MORPHING ZOLTAN
Submitted by Benito
Not only is Zoltan a totally sweet Daywalker vampire, but he can morph into a Lion thing with a spiky tail. I think
CLOUD THAT WON'T RAIN
by Optimus Prime
Wow! So much to love about this picture. Clearly a labor of love against the Decepticons. How about those buckets of dead bodies? Plus, the single bar face mask. Go ZOLTAN! Imagine the power to make an asteroid frown or a cloud not rain. I really like how the artist chose to show the injustice in the world by adding a picture of a Big Mean Guy. ZOLTAN!!!
ZOLTAN THE PUNTINATOR
Perfection on a canvas. ZOLTAN!!!!! Gotta love the minions surrounding Michigan Stadium.
Okay, so as promised, I'll add my own ZOLTAN drawing. You see, I made an effort, and that's the key word... effort. I've had success with Microsoft Paint drawings in the past. However, this looks more like ZOLTAN!!! the Bug Thing. Yeah... ummm... glad my fan base picked up the slack. Yeah, it's kind of a debacle. Well, without further ado, here's ZOLTAN!!! The Bug Thing:
This is hardly the end of the ZOLTAN liturgy. I mean, we're going to have stories about ZOLTAN's first day of school, ZOLTAN learning to walk, ZOLTAN learning to puntinate and ZOLTAN overthrowing Nicolae Ceausescu. Seriously, feel free to submit your own ZOLTAN story, poem, picture (just because the contest is over doesn't mean I'm done putting up pictures) or Haiku. MyDebacles is happy to host the story of the half-vampire man behind the Z.
And, the next ZOLTAN contest will be the ZOLTAN Haiku contest. Let's
Crowd boos on Fourth down
He summons justice minions
All hail ZOLTAN's punt
Think of the possibilities. Submit your ZOLTAN Haiku today!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Okay... in order to experience this post in all its majesty, you need to listen to the TROGDOR song. Click on the link, then click on songs, then click on TROGDOR!! You probably need to listen to the song a couple of times, and whenever they sing TROGDOR, replace it with ZOLTAN. And replace "Burninating the Peasants" with "Puntinating the 'ponents". Not to worry, all will be explained.
As everyone knows, if you're going to be a ridiculously good kicker, you need to be from another country. See the Polish Sebastian Janikowski or the Elvish Gramatica brothers. Also, if you have a totally sweet name, you have magical powers. See He-Man, Launchpad McQuack and Splinter.
Well, when you combine forces, what do you get? ZOLTAN MESKO, the Puntinator!!!
Now, before I explain the gameplan, I'm going to have to explain his powers. From the name alone, you know ZOLTAN is no normal dude. Seriously, think about it. You're in class, and they're reading the attendance sheet.
"Katie Martin" -- "Here".
"David Melville" -- "Present".
I wish I was in that class, because I bet if it was a sub, she'd get really confused and forget where she was in the attendance and I'd tell her she left off at David Melville just so the learnination being can fly around the room again.
Also, ZOLTAN is probably a vampire. You see, he's from
Now, just imagine the possibilities for ZOLTAN! It's fourth down,
I wonder if he's ever shanked a punt? I'd guess if he did, we'd never know. He'd just summon another ball, and kick that one so fast that it would spin around the world, go back in time and prevent the bad punt from ever happening, al la Superman I. That's technically illegal, but seriously, who's going to prove that he did it? I don't know how to prove it without a flux capacitor, 1.21 jigawatts and a Delorean. And, seriously, when was the last time you saw a Delorean?
I hope he doesn't go pro early.
I tried to draw a picture in Mirosoft Paint, kind of an artists depiction of what ZOLTAN will look like he will when he rides on the field with his glow-in-the-dark chimera. I figured it would help the post. Sadly, the picture looks like it was drawn by someone with my mental age. ZOLTAN kind of looks like a bee thing with a cheap plastic “Z” scepter that he got out of a “Happy Meal”. I thought about sending it to him and telling him that I was a four year old and he was my favorite player. However, he's ZOLTAN, he'd probably see through that and send his minions to laugh at me and my picture. One person laughing at you hurts enough, imagine minions. However, I am starting the first ever ZOLTAN drawing contest. If I get three submissions from the separate people, I'll post the winner's picture and show you my picture so you can laugh at me (yes I wasn't joking, he really looks like a bee and not like a half-vampire puntinator). I’m serious about the contest too.
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