Last Sunday I went to our bridal shower. Well, it was more General Tolerance's shower and I was there to open gifts.
I won't lie, opening everyone's gifts in front of everyone else seemed a bit odd to me. During elementary school birthday parties, I'd pay attention to who gave each gift, so I could decide what tweener friends I should invite my future parties. Once I hit middle school, it seemed everyone was too busy worrying about what everyone else in the room thought about them to pay attention to gifts. Truth be told, I kind of figured gifts were between the gifter and giftees... This is true, except at showers, where friends and family are excited to see what your kitchen will look like once you're married.
This whole shower culture was new to me, so it came as a suprise when I found out it was expected that I get General Tolerance a gift. Well, it wouldn't make sense to get her a gift off the registry. And, I shouldn't get a gift for our home, because I didn't want all the women who kept commenting on how nice everything was to be horrified by my lack of taste or understanding of which colors clash.
So, I got this great idea. Hillarious in fact. Everyone I told it too thought it was a great idea. In the midst of plates, coffee makers, and serving spoons, General Tolerance would open her gift from me in front of everyone waiting in anticipation to see what sweet gift I came up with... and she'd unwrap a Star Wars action figure! Then I'd pull out the real gift and everyone would laugh.
Well, it all went according to plan. I handed General Tolerance Yoda hidden under a sloppy giftwrapping job. I said, "I wrapped it my myself" and the whole room laughed. I was off to a good start. She opens it up, give me a look. People see it... silence...
"I didn't know he was that obsessed with 'Star Wars'" someone said.
I pull Yoda out of her hands, hand her the real gift and say, "Uhh... wrong gift."
Even more silence...
I guess I'm just not very good at wedding showers.